i am in love with what we are,
not what we should be.
sillyenfp:

I think I have been dealing with anxiety attacks for longer than I thought. In summary, I have decided to go a lot easier on myself and communicate to others when I am anxious and stop hiding it with intellectualised waffle.
I am educated on a normal physical bodily response to stress so I have good intellectual insight into how my body responds to a perceived threat.
What I am starting to realise that I do when I am having an anxiety attack, and the one thing which I cannot seem to control, is that I cry spontaneously. A lot.
I cry a lot whilst hiding the primitive panic on the inside.
I feel suddenly very alone and terrified. Recently, because of personal events, I feel the urge to make contact with my boyfriend when I have an anxiety attack.  I will phone (more than I should if I get no response) and send emails because I know I will calm down very fast when I hear his voice because he makes me feel safe. I can often feel like I am losing my mind. I’m aware that I’m not but, at the time, my thoughts race and I feel like everything bad that can happen in a scenario will. If the anxiety attack starts near to when I have talked to my boyfriend I can suddenly think I was a burden to him and feel the need to contact him to make sure I have not ‘destroyed’ us. All I can focus on is hearing his voice again because I know that usually calms me instantly.
I don’t think I even explain it to him. I’m pretty sure I don’t explain it because he’s a great guy and his reaction is usually to shut down and withdraw from me and I know he’d never intentionally do anything to hurt me. I’m embarrassed. How do you explain to someone that all you would like is to hear a phrase or literally their voice as it is associated with safety in your head? I don’t know how to.  I probably seem like the most annoying girlfriend in the world. It’s difficult because I was raised to see annoying as a hell of a lot better than temporarily weak or anxious.
When I look back in my life I can see that a lot of the times I have harshly judged myself for being ‘irrational’ in public I was probably experiencing an anxiety attack. I have burst out crying in front of my boyfriend when I was in a hairdressers. I was so ashamed of myself.  I didn’t know how to explain the pressure I was putting myself under. I have had crying anxiety attacks before I am expected to socialise. I used to cry in class in school when I had to read out loud. Looking back on those times I can admit that I was incredibly anxious and overwhelmed but I did not know how to express it. In reality I am deeply ashamed I did not act ‘as I was expected to’. I had very high expectations on myself to remain in control and perform perfectly in that situation. I have been raised not to express any anxiety as it is weakness.
So I am not going to be ashamed of my spontaneous crying anymore.
If I’m not ashamed then, in theory, it should fade in intensity.
My boyfriend doesn’t seem to think it’s the end of the world when I cry so slowly I am learning to let it happen so that I can better understand what triggers anxiety attacks. I am going to stop intellectualising my experience to others and admit it is anxiety. I will explain what makes me feel better and learn some more coping skills myself.
He lets me cry.

sillyenfp:

I think I have been dealing with anxiety attacks for longer than I thought. In summary, I have decided to go a lot easier on myself and communicate to others when I am anxious and stop hiding it with intellectualised waffle.


I am educated on a normal physical bodily response to stress so I have good intellectual insight into how my body responds to a perceived threat.

What I am starting to realise that I do when I am having an anxiety attack, and the one thing which I cannot seem to control, is that I cry spontaneously. A lot.

I cry a lot whilst hiding the primitive panic on the inside.

I feel suddenly very alone and terrified. Recently, because of personal events, I feel the urge to make contact with my boyfriend when I have an anxiety attack.  I will phone (more than I should if I get no response) and send emails because I know I will calm down very fast when I hear his voice because he makes me feel safe. I can often feel like I am losing my mind. I’m aware that I’m not but, at the time, my thoughts race and I feel like everything bad that can happen in a scenario will. If the anxiety attack starts near to when I have talked to my boyfriend I can suddenly think I was a burden to him and feel the need to contact him to make sure I have not ‘destroyed’ us. All I can focus on is hearing his voice again because I know that usually calms me instantly.

I don’t think I even explain it to him. I’m pretty sure I don’t explain it because he’s a great guy and his reaction is usually to shut down and withdraw from me and I know he’d never intentionally do anything to hurt me. I’m embarrassed. How do you explain to someone that all you would like is to hear a phrase or literally their voice as it is associated with safety in your head? I don’t know how to.  I probably seem like the most annoying girlfriend in the world. It’s difficult because I was raised to see annoying as a hell of a lot better than temporarily weak or anxious.

When I look back in my life I can see that a lot of the times I have harshly judged myself for being ‘irrational’ in public I was probably experiencing an anxiety attack. I have burst out crying in front of my boyfriend when I was in a hairdressers. I was so ashamed of myself.  I didn’t know how to explain the pressure I was putting myself under. I have had crying anxiety attacks before I am expected to socialise. I used to cry in class in school when I had to read out loud. Looking back on those times I can admit that I was incredibly anxious and overwhelmed but I did not know how to express it. In reality I am deeply ashamed I did not act ‘as I was expected to’. I had very high expectations on myself to remain in control and perform perfectly in that situation. I have been raised not to express any anxiety as it is weakness.

So I am not going to be ashamed of my spontaneous crying anymore.

If I’m not ashamed then, in theory, it should fade in intensity.

My boyfriend doesn’t seem to think it’s the end of the world when I cry so slowly I am learning to let it happen so that I can better understand what triggers anxiety attacks. I am going to stop intellectualising my experience to others and admit it is anxiety. I will explain what makes me feel better and learn some more coping skills myself.

He lets me cry.

rcmclachlan:

radiationdude:

NO. NO. I AM TWENTY-SEVEN YEARS OLD AND I AM CRYING BECAUSE I CAN STILL HEAR THE EXACT WAY SHADOW SAYS “PETER” AS HE COMES OUT OF THE FUCKING WOODS DON’T LOOK AT MEEEE

These are forms of male aggression that only women see. But even when men are afforded a front seat to harassment, they don’t always have the correct vantage point for recognizing the subtlety of its operation. Four years before the murders, I was sitting in a bar in Washington, D.C. with a male friend. Another young woman was alone at the bar when an older man scooted next to her. He was aggressive, wasted, and sitting too close, but she smiled curtly at his ramblings and laughed softly at his jokes as she patiently downed her drink. ‘Why is she humoring him?’ my friend asked me. ‘You would never do that.’ I was too embarrassed to say: ‘Because he looks scary’ and ‘I do it all the time.’

Women who have experienced this can recognize that placating these men is a rational choice, a form of self-defense to protect against setting off an aggressor. But to male bystanders, it often looks like a warm welcome, and that helps to shift blame in the public eye from the harasser and onto his target, who’s failed to respond with the type of masculine bravado that men more easily recognize.
"

Why it’s so hard for men to see misogyny (via ethiopienne)

BOOOM.  Read this if you are a dude, please.

(via geekyjessica)

Yesssssss.

(via quothtehblackbirdnevermoar)

Its hard for men to understand why women dont get loud & angry because they havent spent their entire lives being reprimanded whenever they take up too much space. (via pluralfloral)

pleatedjeans:

Go follow @hippieswordfish

ouchdirection:

hi so i’ve been compiling resources since high school and i kinda wanted to share them if that’s cool ??? i think it’s cool alright so i went through said resources and picked out the really important ones and the ones i found to be the most helpful

this is directed towards college students like me aw but i mean if you’re younger or maybe if you aren’t even going to school but you feel like it’s helpful then by all means let me help you let’s be friends

school supplies

textbooks

reading

writing

presentations

miscellaneous subject help

studying

snacking

if you ever feel stressed

it’s okay to take a break every once in a while

look cute in class and make boys cry (ft. pretty good deals bc we’re poor)

because college is expensive

  • k so i downloaded this app called featurepoints a couple weeks ago and i’ve already made a little over $50 from it. basically the app will tell you to download other apps and you’ll have to generally keep them open for about a minute. once you do, you’ll earn points that can be redeemed for free apps, giftcards to places like amazon or starbucks, or money put into your paypal account! i swear it’s not a scam. it’s honestly such an awesome way to kill time and you actually get money out of it. if ya wanna just try it, download it and enter the referral code KCHF98 and you can start off with 50 points! it’s radical, i promise
  • sign up for preview free movies! i don’t know what areas they do them in but they happen all the time in southern california. what you get is invitations to see movies before they’re in theaters or sometimes even before they’re announced! if you rsvp and get in to the screening, you get to see the movie for free and all you have to do is a sort of review when it’s over. they ask what your favorite and least favorite part was and such. sometimes, if you’re lucky, there will be rewards for going like free tickets, and anywhere between $10 and $25 cash. i’ve actually made a lot of money through it!
  • shopkick is also a really cool app i use that gives you giftcards for visiting certain stores and sometimes scanning certain products with your phone’s camera!
  • get amazon prime free for six months with a college email
  • !!! financial aid deadlines !!!
  • get the most out of college financial aid
  • discounts with a student id
  • try and get the lowest prices at target
  • free pad/tampon samples and coupons from kotex
  • learn how to coupon

important regardless of school

final tips from me because we’re all friends here

  • !!! do not pay for your textbooks if you don’t have to !!! even if you aren’t down with illegally downloading your books, you can waste hundreds of dollars on textbooks you will never open. wait until your professor says that you’ll need it or if material from the book will be on an exam just wait it’s what harry styles would do probably
  • everyone says this but /please/ do extra credit if you can! it could mean the difference between a b+ and an a and that hurts more than the 1542th time you hear someone singing “let it go” in public
  • if you’re like me and you find it completely impossible to make friends in college, at least try and have one homie in each class so if you miss a class, you have someone to tell you what you missed and let you copy notes. having this homie is also beneficial for group work bc homies help homies always (important life lessons from adventure time)
  • if you’re in a productive mood, take advantage of it. i was feeling v scholarly one day and  ended up finishing all my assignments until the end of the quarter almost a month early beyonce would be proud
  • seriously just use google scholar instead of google if you’re doing something for a grade don’t be that loser who gets a bad grade over your sources
  • keep a journal it is v helpful bc even if you don’t write, you can fill it with art stuff and just kind of let your feelings out and be creative about it /or/ if you don’t feel artistic, you can write! whether it’s creative writing or just talking about your day, it’s gr8
  • if there is anything that you know will always improve your mood or make you feel better, take advantage of it. for me, this stand up is called weirdo and it’s by one of my favorite people in the world and almost three years after the release and dozens of viewings later, i still think it’s the funniest thing i have ever seen
  • you are more important than anything in the world pls don’t ever put yourself in a bad situation for any reason ever, even if that means taking a day off for yourself
  • if there is anyone in your life who doesn’t think of you as highly as kayne thinks of himself then that person doesn’t deserve to be in your life you don’t need them

geekishchic:

imaginebenedicts:

itseasytoremember:

capslockapocalypse:

letmusicsetyoufreee:

frankienathanieljonas:

bubblelumps:

was voldemort a virgin

#did you see him in 5th year? #he wasnt a virgin

Imagine being the chick to do the frick frack with the Dark Lord Voldy. 

TUMBLR DOT COM: WHERE WE CAN DISCUSS HAVING SEX WITH VOLDEMORT BUT WE CAN’T ACTUALLY SAY THE WORD SEX

doing the do with you know who

I’M SO FUCKING DONE WITH THIS WEBSITE

he who must not be laid

filingsforkili:

True love is when your pet comes to your room on its own.

thisbloghasbeencompromised:

at what point do american children realise it’s weird for them to pledge allegiance to their flag and country every day at school and that not all countries do that and how long after that discovery do they realise how creepy it is

why is this something no one talks about because it concerns me on a very deep level

Taylor Swift ft. Ed Sheeran vs. Troye Sivan - Every Touch Has Changed (Mashup)
127,220 plays

tyleroakley:

elixapotter:

losttroylerworld:

-

ohmygod this is my life THIS IS MY LIFE HGJWLEJFIOASLFKMW>QE IT SOUNDS SO GOOD I S2G

I LIKE THIS A LOT

mr-egbutt:

loodletooboodleroodlesoodle:

mangomartyr:

loodletooboodleroodlesoodle:

santullianal:

This honestly made me tear up. Imagining how great he must have felt that his planned worked and choosing that risk paid off.
I also feel like him and the model have such good chemistry, they’re always so kind and loving to one another.

Holy shit what did he do?? That’s rad as hell!

Since the runway was going to have simulated rain, he wanted to make the outfit become colorful because of it rather than deflect it. He sewed dye into the seams and once the rain hit it the dye ran! Very simple but super effective. He was one of the two winners of that challenge.

Absolutely brilliant. Holy shit.

mcsprankles:

ohcorny:

deermary:

Grey Peacock-Pheasant (Polyplectron bicalcaratum) of southeast Asia.

yo why didnt i know about these

Wow man forget regular peacocks this thing is magical.

blessedwithgloriousbutt:

maycontainfeminists:


One of the best examples of artistic integrity on a corporate scale.

wow. 

No matter how many times I see this, I never fail to be impressed by that last sentence.

blessedwithgloriousbutt:

maycontainfeminists:

One of the best examples of artistic integrity on a corporate scale.

wow. 

No matter how many times I see this, I never fail to be impressed by that last sentence.