I think I have been dealing with anxiety attacks for longer than I thought. In summary, I have decided to go a lot easier on myself and communicate to others when I am anxious and stop hiding it with intellectualised waffle.
I am educated on a normal physical bodily response to stress so I have good intellectual insight into how my body responds to a perceived threat.
What I am starting to realise that I do when I am having an anxiety attack, and the one thing which I cannot seem to control, is that I cry spontaneously. A lot.
I cry a lot whilst hiding the primitive panic on the inside.
I feel suddenly very alone and terrified. Recently, because of personal events, I feel the urge to make contact with my boyfriend when I have an anxiety attack. I will phone (more than I should if I get no response) and send emails because I know I will calm down very fast when I hear his voice because he makes me feel safe. I can often feel like I am losing my mind. I’m aware that I’m not but, at the time, my thoughts race and I feel like everything bad that can happen in a scenario will. If the anxiety attack starts near to when I have talked to my boyfriend I can suddenly think I was a burden to him and feel the need to contact him to make sure I have not ‘destroyed’ us. All I can focus on is hearing his voice again because I know that usually calms me instantly.
I don’t think I even explain it to him. I’m pretty sure I don’t explain it because he’s a great guy and his reaction is usually to shut down and withdraw from me and I know he’d never intentionally do anything to hurt me. I’m embarrassed. How do you explain to someone that all you would like is to hear a phrase or literally their voice as it is associated with safety in your head? I don’t know how to. I probably seem like the most annoying girlfriend in the world. It’s difficult because I was raised to see annoying as a hell of a lot better than temporarily weak or anxious.
When I look back in my life I can see that a lot of the times I have harshly judged myself for being ‘irrational’ in public I was probably experiencing an anxiety attack. I have burst out crying in front of my boyfriend when I was in a hairdressers. I was so ashamed of myself. I didn’t know how to explain the pressure I was putting myself under. I have had crying anxiety attacks before I am expected to socialise. I used to cry in class in school when I had to read out loud. Looking back on those times I can admit that I was incredibly anxious and overwhelmed but I did not know how to express it. In reality I am deeply ashamed I did not act ‘as I was expected to’. I had very high expectations on myself to remain in control and perform perfectly in that situation. I have been raised not to express any anxiety as it is weakness.
So I am not going to be ashamed of my spontaneous crying anymore.
If I’m not ashamed then, in theory, it should fade in intensity.
My boyfriend doesn’t seem to think it’s the end of the world when I cry so slowly I am learning to let it happen so that I can better understand what triggers anxiety attacks. I am going to stop intellectualising my experience to others and admit it is anxiety. I will explain what makes me feel better and learn some more coping skills myself.
He lets me cry.
NO. NO. I AM TWENTY-SEVEN YEARS OLD AND I AM CRYING BECAUSE I CAN STILL HEAR THE EXACT WAY SHADOW SAYS “PETER” AS HE COMES OUT OF THE FUCKING WOODS DON’T LOOK AT MEEEE
Women who have experienced this can recognize that placating these men is a rational choice, a form of self-defense to protect against setting off an aggressor. But to male bystanders, it often looks like a warm welcome, and that helps to shift blame in the public eye from the harasser and onto his target, who’s failed to respond with the type of masculine bravado that men more easily recognize.
BOOOM. Read this if you are a dude, please.
Its hard for men to understand why women dont get loud & angry because they havent spent their entire lives being reprimanded whenever they take up too much space. (via pluralfloral)
hi so i’ve been compiling resources since high school and i kinda wanted to share them if that’s cool ??? i think it’s cool alright so i went through said resources and picked out the really important ones and the ones i found to be the most helpful
this is directed towards college students like me aw but i mean if you’re younger or maybe if you aren’t even going to school but you feel like it’s helpful then by all means let me help you let’s be friends
- don’t have microsoft word? this is like a knockoff but it works gr8
- diy planner
- diy embroidered notebooks
- diy notebooks and pencil case
- diy washi tape pencils
- diy felt book covers
- super cute diy alternative to a pencil case
- another super cute diy pencil case
- diy laptop stand!
- !!! free online graphing and scientific calculator !!!
- 150 organization projects using things you can find at the dollar store
- flat world knowledge
- gatech math textbooks
- library pirate
- open culture
- project gutenberg
- 100 legal websites to download books for leisure reading
- help reading difficult material
- reading skills
- active reading strategies
- benefits of reading something you enjoy everyday
- cheap, used books with free shipping
- even more cheap books with free shipping
- download free kindle books
- download free audio books
- !!! what is that word you are thinking of !!!
- how to write an essay by wittacism (it’s funny but also v helpful)
- top 10 mistakes students make in an essay
- avoid the word ‘very’, avoid the word ‘said’ and avoid the word ‘looks’
- describe food, someone’s facial expression, a voice, and a scent
- tips for proofreading
- use google scholar to generate a citation
- use google scholar if you need a “scholarly source” for an essay
- prezi powerpoints always come out really cool
- another cool website like prezi
- animated video presentations
- effectively presenting in class
- creating an effective powerpoint
- wikihow class presentation help
- v helpful dos and donts of presenting a powerpoint
- 12 common presentation mistakes
miscellaneous subject help
- !!! crash course in dozens of subjects with john and hank green !!!
- super helpful language learning website/app
- wolfram if you’re struggling with literally any math problem
- balace chemical equations
- minute physics
- art history
- public speaking
- psychology (lectures from a professor at yale)
- music theory
- microecon and macroecon
- block distracting websites but still use the rest of the internet
- finals survival guide by bootify
- listen to a coffee shop/campfire/waves/etc & you can even layer them!
- tons of studying playlists
- music box versions of tons of songs (useful if lyrics distract you)
- keep your energy up without caffeine
- learning and studying techniques
- lots of test prep resources
- make virtual flashcards and save the forests
- multiple choice test strategies
- what do you need to get on the final to get a certain grade?
- the collegiate vegan
- literally thousands of recipes by other students
- even more thousands of recipes made for students
- 200 healthy dorm recipes by undressedskeleton
- over 100 breakfast recipes (pls don’t skip breakfast it’s v important)
- 17 inexpensive, super easy, and on-the-go snacks
- 20 of the most essential recipes that you really should learn to cook
- lots of homemade hummus recipes
- "microwave in a mug" recipes
- coffee recipes
- hot chocolate recipes
- broke college kid recipes masterpost
if you ever feel stressed
- calming music
- cute videos
- the quiet place
- for when you have no one to talk to (also my askbox is always open)
- masterpost of things to make you feel better
- alternatives to self harm (useful for just blowing off steam too)
- very cute and relaxing games with soft/pleasant background music
- relaxing bath recipes
- yoga for stress
it’s okay to take a break every once in a while
- workout videos masterpost
- disney and pixar movies
- foreign films
- if you’ve never seen ahs, i highly recommend it
- one of the best movie masterposts
- even crazier movie masterpost
- make super rad symmetrical designs
- play with sand
- an interactive scale model of the galaxy
- how to moonwalk
- make a fake tweet
- blanket fort!
- super mario!
look cute in class and make boys cry (ft. pretty good deals bc we’re poor)
- (homemade) (face) (masks) (and) (scrubs)
- super quick hairstyles and lots of really great hair tutorials
- giant compilation of eyeliner pictorials and reference pictures
- inexpensive drugstore product recommendations
- !!! cheap band/tv show/logo merch !!!
- cute and inexpensive jewelry/clothes/school supplies/etc
because college is expensive
- k so i downloaded this app called featurepoints a couple weeks ago and i’ve already made a little over $50 from it. basically the app will tell you to download other apps and you’ll have to generally keep them open for about a minute. once you do, you’ll earn points that can be redeemed for free apps, giftcards to places like amazon or starbucks, or money put into your paypal account! i swear it’s not a scam. it’s honestly such an awesome way to kill time and you actually get money out of it. if ya wanna just try it, download it and enter the referral code KCHF98 and you can start off with 50 points! it’s radical, i promise
- sign up for preview free movies! i don’t know what areas they do them in but they happen all the time in southern california. what you get is invitations to see movies before they’re in theaters or sometimes even before they’re announced! if you rsvp and get in to the screening, you get to see the movie for free and all you have to do is a sort of review when it’s over. they ask what your favorite and least favorite part was and such. sometimes, if you’re lucky, there will be rewards for going like free tickets, and anywhere between $10 and $25 cash. i’ve actually made a lot of money through it!
- shopkick is also a really cool app i use that gives you giftcards for visiting certain stores and sometimes scanning certain products with your phone’s camera!
- get amazon prime free for six months with a college email
- !!! financial aid deadlines !!!
- get the most out of college financial aid
- discounts with a student id
- try and get the lowest prices at target
- free pad/tampon samples and coupons from kotex
- learn how to coupon
important regardless of school
- contraceptives masterpost
- helping someone who feels suicidal
- giant list of hotlines and crisis center phone numbers
- what to do if you think you may have been drugged
- how to avoid a hangover
- self defense with a key
- how to answer the top 35 job interview questions
- managing anxiety
- how to do your own taxes
- 10 steps to a better resume
- keep your laptop in a+ condition
- clean your carpet stains
final tips from me because we’re all friends here
- !!! do not pay for your textbooks if you don’t have to !!! even if you aren’t down with illegally downloading your books, you can waste hundreds of dollars on textbooks you will never open. wait until your professor says that you’ll need it or if material from the book will be on an exam just wait it’s what harry styles would do probably
- everyone says this but /please/ do extra credit if you can! it could mean the difference between a b+ and an a and that hurts more than the 1542th time you hear someone singing “let it go” in public
- if you’re like me and you find it completely impossible to make friends in college, at least try and have one homie in each class so if you miss a class, you have someone to tell you what you missed and let you copy notes. having this homie is also beneficial for group work bc homies help homies always (important life lessons from adventure time)
- if you’re in a productive mood, take advantage of it. i was feeling v scholarly one day and ended up finishing all my assignments until the end of the quarter almost a month early beyonce would be proud
- seriously just use google scholar instead of google if you’re doing something for a grade don’t be that loser who gets a bad grade over your sources
- keep a journal it is v helpful bc even if you don’t write, you can fill it with art stuff and just kind of let your feelings out and be creative about it /or/ if you don’t feel artistic, you can write! whether it’s creative writing or just talking about your day, it’s gr8
- if there is anything that you know will always improve your mood or make you feel better, take advantage of it. for me, this stand up is called weirdo and it’s by one of my favorite people in the world and almost three years after the release and dozens of viewings later, i still think it’s the funniest thing i have ever seen
- you are more important than anything in the world pls don’t ever put yourself in a bad situation for any reason ever, even if that means taking a day off for yourself
- if there is anyone in your life who doesn’t think of you as highly as kayne thinks of himself then that person doesn’t deserve to be in your life you don’t need them
I found some recipes that are simple and easy. I guess a mass recipe post LOL.
was voldemort a virgin
Imagine being the chick to do the frick frack with the Dark Lord Voldy.
TUMBLR DOT COM: WHERE WE CAN DISCUSS HAVING SEX WITH VOLDEMORT BUT WE CAN’T ACTUALLY SAY THE WORD SEX
doing the do with you know who
I’M SO FUCKING DONE WITH THIS WEBSITE
he who must not be laid
True love is when your pet comes to your room on its own.
at what point do american children realise it’s weird for them to pledge allegiance to their flag and country every day at school and that not all countries do that and how long after that discovery do they realise how creepy it is
why is this something no one talks about because it concerns me on a very deep level
This honestly made me tear up. Imagining how great he must have felt that his planned worked and choosing that risk paid off.
I also feel like him and the model have such good chemistry, they’re always so kind and loving to one another.
Holy shit what did he do?? That’s rad as hell!
Since the runway was going to have simulated rain, he wanted to make the outfit become colorful because of it rather than deflect it. He sewed dye into the seams and once the rain hit it the dye ran! Very simple but super effective. He was one of the two winners of that challenge.
Absolutely brilliant. Holy shit.
Grey Peacock-Pheasant (Polyplectron bicalcaratum) of southeast Asia.
yo why didnt i know about these
Wow man forget regular peacocks this thing is magical.